Lemonade - SpongeBob SquidSquill friendship fanfic
by Marijke Rose
Summary: This is a Squidward/Squilliam frendship story. G-rated. It's about what SHOULD happen in the show, that is, Squidward is working at his job, but Squilliam pops in, making his life even more miserable, but... maybe not. As much as Squidward isn't happy about finally being friends with Squilliam, and he certainly doesn't want any help from the stuck up cephalopod, well...


"When Life Gives You Lemons"  
A SpongeBob one-shot practice story by CMU (Squidina) - 30.04.2014

Comedy, Rated G.

Ah, another day at the Krusty Krab: The sounds of sizzling Krabby patties; the smell of the cheap fat from the grill and the fryers; customers slurping at their drinks. And one meloncholy cashier sitting in his boat, wishing for nothing more than to be somewhere else.

_Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!_

Squidward whirled around and put his hand on top of the smaller, yellow one, putting a stop to the fry cook's infernal repeated ringing of the bell.  
"One Krabby patty, extra pickles, no mayo; large order of kelp fries with an extra dash of salt;" The sponge paused to draw in a huge breath, " and a large diet kelpo cola is ready to go, sir!" Squidward almost felt like gagging.  
"Then deliver it to the table, already!" Squidward said.  
"Yessir, right away, sir, Squidward, sir! Hahahahahaha!" And the sponge pranced through the kitchen door out into the dining room merrily. He skipped up to a table and recited the entire order while presenting it to the customer. Squidward again wanted to gag.

"Well, now, doesn't THAT sound just delicious!" Exclaimed a cheery voice and Squidward's blood ran cold. He dropped down into the boat. Oh, anyone but HIM! He gulped hard. 'Ok, Squidward, maybe if you just stay hidden down here, he'll go away.. He never orders here, anyway..' He'd almost convinced himself when he heard SpongeBob.  
"Hi, Squilliam!"  
"Eh, hello.. - OHHHH, SQUIDDYYYYYY! Where ARE you?" He sang.

Squidward cringed as he heard the unmistakable sound of Squilliam's suction-cupped feet walking around the Krusty Krab. They stopped for a moment, and Squidward wondered hopefully if that meant his rival was going to give up. After the silence continued for another 20 seconds, Squidward dared to take a tiny peak over the side of the boat, just around the cash register and his stomach lurched up into his throat. Squilliam Fancyson was bent over listening as SpongeBob whispered something into his ear. The unibrowed octopus straightened back up with a a sly smirk.  
"Is that so?" He said, sounding delighted.  
"It sure is! He always does that when he doesn't want to be bothered." The sponge affirmed. Squidward wanted to throttle the sponge! Obviously, the sponge had told Squilliam that Squidward was hiding in the boat.

Squilliam started to turn towards the boat and Squidward quickly ducked back down, not daring to breathe as he heard Squilliam's footsteps approaching. It was pathetic, of course, but he wanted, under absolutely no circumstances, to speak to, be seen by, or even associate with the other octopus while at work. So, he was going to stay hidden as long as he could possibly get away with it.

"Oh, now where, oh where can that _cashier_ be?" Called Squilliam's voice in a sing-song tone again. A dramatic pause and he suddenly dropped the bomb. "I wish to ORDER!" Squidward wanted to cry.

"MR. SQUIDWARD!" Mr. Krabs' voice bellowed. Well, that was it, Squidward knew, it was over. "Get out here and take care of our cherished customers!" Squidward groaned inside, 'great choice of words, Eugene,' he thought. "- Eh-eh-eh-eh! AND their precious, overflowing wallets."  
"I am getting impatient!" Squilliam complained loudly. "So, I guess I will just have to go and take my _money_ somewhere ELSE!" Squidward desperately wished Squilliam would do exactly that, but knew it was but a pipe-dream.  
"Nononono!" Cried Mr. Krabs. "- SQUIDWARD!"  
With that Squidward sprung furiously to his feet and bellowed. "ALRIGHT! I'm here! And I'm gonna wring all three of your necks!" He cried, pointing at each in turn.

Mr. Krabs put his arm around Squilliam and helped him to the register - Squilliam merely allowed it, clearly not adoring it, but also clearly pleased to finally be faced with Squidward. Squidward glowered, "And I thought you hated him, Eugene!"  
"But I don't hate his money! Now, Mr. Squidward, be good and take our friend's order!" Then Mr. Krabs scuttled off humming some little ditty to himself, which Squidward knew only too well would be about dollars.

Exhaling, Squidward met Squilliam's gaze and spoke in a bored, though slightly mocking, monotone, "And what'll it be, Fancyson? Can I recommend the Krabby Extra Delux Menu..?" Which he only mentioned because one of Mr. Krabs eyes was peaking out around the frame of his office door. It slithered back inside to the distinct chime of a cash register. Squidward looked down to see Squilliam had pushed a button. He looked up, brow furrowed in question.  
"Oh, I'm sorry Squiddy; I just wanted to see if that old relic actually works! - And good news: It does!" Squidward facepalmed. "Anyway, I'll have a water, thank you."  
"Sure didn't see THAT one coming.. One water, coming up. Anything else?" He said dryly.  
"How about some service with a smile?" Squilliam suggested, who, as far as Squidward was concerned, was already enough smiles for the both of them. Still, Squidward plastered an exaggeratedly toothy grin on his face as he handed Squilliam his water and hissed quietly through his teeth.  
"Just what are you _doing_ here?"  
"When's your break?" Squilliam asked in a normal tone, ignoring the question.  
"Five. More. Minutes." He hissed slowly and deliberately. Then in a normal tone, lest anyone start to get suspicous. "And, if that's all, it'll be $1.99, please." And Squilliam dropped two bucks on the table.  
"You can keep the change." The wealthy octopus said, graciously.  
"Oh, a whole penny. How very generous of you, Squilliam." Was Squidward's sarcastic reply.  
"Don't spend it all in one place now!" Squilliam, without a moment's hesitation started turning towards the exit. "I'll be waiting outside. See you then!" As he made his way to the door, Squidward saw him unceremoniously toss the untouched cup of water into a trash can as he passed by.  
"I hate my life." Squidward grumbled.

"Woooooooowww!" Came a voice that was near to bursting with excitement. Squidward started to turn and nearly jumped, seeing the sponge suddenly IN his boat right next to him. The excited fry cook was positively vibrating.  
"SpongeBob, wha?! - Rrr! May I help you?!"  
"A whooooooole penny..!" The sponge said completely wonder struck. "He's SO generous! Don't you think, Squidward?"  
"I, uh.. Oh, don't ask me what I think about my life long rival from the highschool band class and whom I am definitely not meeting with during my break!..." He paused in horror. The sponge was gawking at him, eyes wide as dinner plates. Squidward cleared his throat, awkwardly. "Uh.. I just said that out loud, didn't I?" He asked. The sponge nodded. Squidward ground his teeth, then an idea hit him. He turned and smiled pleasantly at the sponge. "Say, SpongeBob?" He began, his tone very, very friendly.  
"Yes, Squidward?"  
"You like that penny, don't you?"  
"Oh, yes! It's so round and sparkling as though it was freshly polished!" Squidward would've been willing to bet that it had indeed been; he smiled even more.  
"And you'd like to have a penny like this too, wouldn't you? An extra special Krusty Krab tip penny?" Squidward was laying it on thick now, and the sponge was almost bouncing.  
"Oh, yes I would! In fact, I'd just love to have one of my very own someday!" The sponge exclaimed with stars in his eyes. Squidward's smile faded.  
"That's too bad, SpongeBob." He said feigning sadness.  
"It is?" The sponge asked.  
"Yes. It's very sad. I'm so sorry to have to be the one to break this to you..." He wiped an invisible tear from his eye. He now had SpongeBob's full and undivided attention - the fry cook plainly hanging onto every word. Squidward took a deep breath as though preparing himself to break some very unpleasant news. "But you see, the unfortunate fact is: Fry cooks don't get tips."  
"They don't?" SpongeBob bit his lip.  
"No, they don't."  
"Never?" And Squidward knew the predictable descent into heartbreak central had been initiated.  
"Never."  
"Never ever?"  
"Never ever."  
"Never ever ever ever ever ever or ever ever ever?"  
"No, SpongeBob, not ever ever."  
"Even never ever ever ever ever ever or ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever or ever ever ever?"  
"NO! Not even then, either! Now, cut that out!" Squidward exploded. The sponge was only a fraction of a second from bursting into a flood of forelorn tears. Squidward, as according to his plan, then swooped in to rescue him. "However, SpongeBob.." He began quickly, and the sponge looked back up at him. "I COULD give you this one."  
"Y-you could?"  
"Yes. Would it make you happy?" He asked. His coworker lit up like a ray of sunlight.  
"Oh, yes it would make me the happiest sponge in all of Bikini Bottom! ...But, what about you, Squidward? If you give it to me, then YOU won't have one anymore." SpongeBob said, genuine concern coming from every fibre of his being.  
"It's okay, SpongeBob; I have others." Squidward assured him.  
"Really, Squidward?"  
"Yes, really! So, here you go, your very own shiny Krusty Krab tip penny! - From Squilliam!" He said, dropping it into the sponge's hands. "Take good care of it! - And now, I'm going on my break." He said taking off his hat and stepping out of the boat as the sponge began dancing about the room in ecstatic celebration of his new treasure. He'd almost made it safely to the door when the sponge called after him.  
"See ya, Squidward! Have a good time with Squilliam!" And Squidward skidded to a halt.  
"Ohhh!" He groaned in frustrated misery as his whole plan of distracting his coworker from exactly that very topic came crashing down around him in complete failure.

He threw the doors open and stormed out of the Krusty Krab, nearly running head on into a smug looking Squilliam.  
"Well, Squiddy! That was quite an elaborate attempt at the heartless manipulation of another." To which Squidward growled.  
"Oh, as though you've never done that yourself! - And not even eleven minutes beforehand!" He pointed out.  
"Except that it _worked_ when _I_ did it!"  
Squidward growled yet again; then, in a sharp hiss, he demanded. "Now, what are you doing here?!" Squilliam turned and began walking, Squidward quickly followed.  
"I was was just in the area.." The unibrowed octopus began.  
"Yeah, right.."  
".. And thought I'd drop in and see how my dear pal Squiddy gets along at work all day without m-.." Squidward hastily covered the other octopus' mouth, looking around frantically and not noticing the look of surprised insult that briefly crossed Squilliam's face.  
"Would you watch it?!" He scolded, then slowly withdrew his hand. Squilliam's usual amused smile was back in place.  
"So, how is your day in the grease trap going so far?"  
"It was going as miserably as usual until you showed up.." Squilliam's grin widened somewhat "..And made it worse!" Squidward quickly finished, not wanting the other to think for even a second that he might've been happy to see Squilliam. It didn't work as he wanted, for the other laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.  
"Oh, I hate you too, Squiddy-dear!" Squidward gave out a sigh of long-suffering - nothing was going his way this day.

After they'd walked a bit, Squidward piped up.  
"Uh.. Where are we headed, exactly? I can't venture _too_ far away on my break."  
"You ARE on your _lunch_ break, aren't you?" Squilliam asked, and Squidward nodded. "Then I thought I would treat you to lunch at some place decent... - or do you actually EAT that artery-clogging, grease-covered garbage you serve?"  
"No, I most certainly do not eat that food!" - At least, not since he'd eaten so many that he'd exploded, but Squilliam didn't need to know that.  
"Well, that's a relief." Squilliam replied.

"So, uh.. What've you been doing so far today?" Squidward just wanted to change the subject from his work.  
"Oh, just the usual: Being fabulous." He said and Squidward fixed him with a glare that plainly asked 'are you for real?'. Squilliam apparently felt prompted to elaborate. "Oh, I've just spent the morning signing autographs during a special promotional event for my new music book being hosted on board the brand new state-of-the-art luxury train car they haven't opened to the public yet!" Squilliam exclaimed smugly. Squidward groaned slightly. They might've started getting along with each other, finally (at least, in secret), but Squilliam's love of boasting could seriously grate on his nerves.  
"Yeah? And how was it?" He asked unenthusiastically.  
"Turns out it was quite pleasant." He answered, which was exactly what the more-than-slightly envious Squidward had expected. "There was even a lemonade stand." A heartbeat passed, then Squidward blinked.  
"There was a..?" Then he held up his hands. "No, nevermind! I don't even wanna hear about it!" Last thing he needed was for Squilliam to figure out a way to start boasting about a lemonade stand, too.

After lunch, Squilliam walked Squidward back to work, though did not go inside the Krusty Krab with him.  
"Well, see you later, Squiddy-dear!" Squilliam said.  
"Yeah, bye-bye."  
"And have fun during the rest of your little _9 to 5-er_!" Squilliam chided, causing Squidward to roll his eyes. Then they waved and Squidward walked the rest of the way to the entrance and went inside.

"Squidward!" Came Mr. Krabs' voice. "Yer fifteen whole minutes late!" Squidward glanced at his watch.  
"I am NOT fifteen minutes late!" Squidward protested defiantly. Mr. Krabs waited and SpongeBob peaked out from the kitchen. Squidward continued, "It was only _eleven_ minutes."  
"Aye.." Krabs trailed off. "..Say, did you really just spend yer entire break with Squilliam?"  
"The LAST thing I want to talk about right now is Squilliam, thank you very much!" Squidward then stomped over to his boat and got in, grabbing one of his magazines and staring intently at it, unaware he was holding it upside down.

SpongeBob then came out to the dining room with some cleaning supplies and Mr. Krabs put his claw around the sponge, leaning in confidentially.  
"SpongeBob, me boy; has Squidward been acting strange to ya lately?" SpongeBob shrugged.  
"Well, maybe he's just upset because he missed the lemonade stand." The sponge answered and then began cleaning up the leftovers of the stand they'd let some children set up - for a 'small' share of the profits, of course.  
Squidward spoke up. "You two had a lemonade stand here for less than an hour?!" Krabs shrugged.  
"The kiddies ran out of lemons."  
"Oh, why do I even ask?" Squidward lamented.  
"Beats me. So stop it and get back to work!" With that, the crustacean disappeared into his office.

Some hours later, Squidward had abandoned any hope of fighting his boredom, particularly when he realized that not only had he been completely ignoring the magazine, but that he'd been holding it upside down the whole time between taking orders. Feeling self-concious, he set it aside hoping no one had noticed.

Then he realized something was amiss.. It made the hairs on his neck stand on edge, that tiny little annoying nagging at your thoughts.. Then he heard the poor attempt at surpressing a giggle coming from behind him. He groaned aloud, turning to confront his bothersome coworker.  
"What IS it, SpongeBob?" But no one was there. Another laugh came from the direction of the cash register this time and he spun around to see the sponge sitting on the edge of the boat smiling as though he knew a very juicy secret. "May I help you?" He asked through tightly gritted teeth.  
"I know something you don't!" SpongeBob was beaming.  
"And whatever might that be and what makes you think I care?" Squidward demanded impatiently.  
"Well, there are three things actually.." The sponge said thoughtfully. Squidward sighed heavily.  
"And what might THEY be and what makes you think I care about THEM?" Squidward rephrased his question appropriately. His coworker scratched his chin thoughtfully.  
"Hmm, I guess you're right, but I'll bet there's two things you _would_ like to know!" The sponge grinned.  
"Would you stop playing games and just spill it already?!" He cried.  
"Hmmm, now which one should I share first?.." SpongeBob wondered aloud. With a cry of frustration, Squidward began banging his head against the cash register, repeatedly.  
"Oh, for the.. Love.. Of.. Neptune.. Please let.. This day.. END!"  
"Oh, I know which one I should start with, now; thank you, Squidward!" The sponge said snapping his fingers.  
"Oh, good.. I couldn't be happier for you.." Squidward moaned, face down on the cash register.  
"Well, you will be really happy to know that it's closing time.. already.." The sponge explained. Squidward lifted his head.  
"What?" He asked, blinking.  
"Yep!" Then the sponge sighed heavily. "Time to say good.." He sniffled. "..night to the Krusty Krab.." Squidward checked his watch, then sprang gleefully out of the boat.  
"Woohoo! Finally! The day is over at long last and I am so gone! Well, see ya! Don't forget to lock up!" He was already dashing madly for the doors.  
"Squidward, wait! The other thing!" SpongeBob called after him, Squidward skidded to a halt.  
"There is absolutely nothing - you hear me, NOTHING - I would want to hear right now except the doors slamming behind me on my way out!" Squidward cried looking over his shoulder at his coworker as he threw the doors open.  
"But, you might want.."  
"No! I wouldn't!"  
"But.."  
"No, nada!"  
"Not even.."  
"Hellooooo, Squiddy!"  
"Ahh! SQUILLIAM FANCYSON!" He shrieked, the other octopus standing right in front of him.  
"In the flesh." Squilliam answered.  
"What are you _doing_ here?!" Squidward demanded, his voice shrill.  
"Why, generously giving you a lift home in my.. Strrretch Limo!"  
"But... I have my bike..." Squidward pointed out almost weakly.  
"You mean.. THAT one?" The unibrowed octopus held out a hand, indicating Patrick, who was chewing on the totalled remains of Squidward's recumbent bike. Squidward's mouth fell open.  
"Patrick, how could you-!"  
"Someone ran over it." Patrick said. "I've been trying to fix it for ya, but it doesn't seem to be working very well." He began banging it on the ground a few times. "See?"  
Squidward deflated with an anguished cry and collapsed, sobbing on Squilliam.  
"There, there, Squiddy-dear!" Squilliam was patting his back reassuringly. "How 'bout we go make some lemonade to cheer you up!"

...And as the sun sets on the horizon, one last mournful cry can be heard.

"ENOUGH WITH THE :DOLPHIN-NOISING: LEMONADE, ALREADY! SOB!"

And so ends another peaceful day in beautiful Bikini Bottom. _Bon soir!_

-PAUSE-

05.2014 CMU

"Lemonade" - sequiel to "Lemons" one shot.

After having been lead to Squilliam's limo and seated, a miserable Squidward sulked in silence. Squilliam, who'd seated himself right beside him, patted his shoulder to which Squidward jerked sharply away.

"Aw, come now, Squiddy; it can't all be that bad, can it?" The wealthy octopus asked in a tone Squidward couldn't decide was meant to be mocking or serious.

"What made you even show up again, anyway?" Squidward asked, ignoring the other's comforting. "And did you run over my bike?" Squilliam looked insulted.

"Why, Squiddy! Now I'm just shocked that you could think so lowly of me!" He gasped. Squidward just glared. "It just so happens that your little fry cook discovered your bike and was apparently so concerned for you that he called ME for help. Quite a caring little guy, that one." Squidward's mouth fell open, then he ground his teeth, none too pleased with the news.

"Why did you even have to show up at all today?" Squidward nearly whined. "It's bad enough that I hate you a little less than I used to, but I don't need everyone else knowing about it too!" And Squilliam laughed, to the older octopus' chagrin.

"Oh, now! You really should be proud to have a friend like me! Just consider how many people'd give their firstborn to be able to call themselves a friend of Squilliam Fancyson!" Squidward crossed his arms over his chest and glared angrily at Squilliam.

"You just think you're such a gift from Neptune, don't you?" He growled.

"Guilty as charged." Squilliam replied smugly. "But, do try and tell me it's not the truth, Squiddy-dear!"

"Fine!" Squidward took the bait. "You, Squilliam Fancyson, are NOT Neptune's gift to the world! You are a stuck up jerk who, out of nothing but pure luck, managed to reach celebrity status in this backwater town!" He snapped furiously at the other. "If this town would have even the slightest sense for culture, they'd have recognized someone with true talent!"

"Someone like YOU, Squidward?" Squilliam deadpanned.

".. Yes, for example!" He quickly answered. "Why, if I'd just have a fraction of the chance you did, then I'd show this whole town what they've been missing!" Then he realized Squilliam was merely grinning at his declaration. "Uh.."

"Oh, Charles!" Squilliam called to his chauffeur. "There's been a sudden change of plans!"

"As you wish, Master Fancyson." The fish replied humbly. Squidward began to wonder what exactly he'd just gotten himself into as Squilliam gave new directions.

When they arrived at their new destination, Squidward's heart stopped beating as he got out to see Squilliam's impressive house before them.

"What are we doing here?!" He demanded, turning on the other.

"Why, we're going to make some lemonade, my dear Squiddy!" He answered, looking perfectly pleased with himself. "Now, if you'll please come with me.." He gestured towards his door, then slid his arm around Squidward's waist and lead the reluctant octopus inside.

"Squilliam, it's late, I just want to go home and prepare myself for another long day at work tomorrow.. I'm beat.." He whined. Undaunted, Squilliam continued guiding him on their way.

"Oh, I'm afraid you'll have to cancel those plans, my dear." Squilliam said.

"I have to WORK tomorrow!" Squidward cried in protest; trying desperately to get the younger octopus to understand.

"Oh, well that IS quite a pity, Tentacles."

Squilliam lead them inside and down the hall to his study. Without a word, he closed the door and finally released a very displeased Squidward, then went over to his telephone, picking it up and dialed.

"Hello, this is Squilliam Fancyson.. - Yes, well, I... - Yes, I just want to inform you that Squidward's not going to be available tomorrow.." Squidward wanted to die - Squilliam was going to get him fired! He held his head in his hands. "..Of course, I understand.. - Yes, I'll be sure to tell him. - Bye bye!" Squilliam hung up and Squidward ran over to confront the other octopus.

"How could you do that?!" He cried, sputtering. "You've just got me fired from my only job, and.."

"Your boss said you should have a good weekend and he'll see you on Monday." Squilliam interrupted calmly.

"..I'm done for, I'll lose my house and..! - Er, what?" Squidward halted as the other's words sunk in. "I-I'm not fired?"

"Now, would it be so bad if you were? Or did you WANT to grow old in that burger joint?" Squilliam asked pleasantly.

"Well, no, but.." Squidward admitted weakly. Of course he didn't want to work at the Krusty Krab for the rest of his days. But, right now, it was the only job he had and it was, if nothing else, stable and enabled him to maintain his current quality of life.

"Relax. You aren't fired. You're just taking tomorrow off." Squilliam repeated.

"How.. How did you manage that? And on such short notice? Krabs must be so furious!" Squidward fretted.

"Well, I AM Squilliam Fancyson, remember? The whole world eagerly kisses the very ground I walk on." Squilliam was saying; Squidward rolled his eyes. "..And your boss was only _too happy_ to oblige me." One beat passed and Squidward suddenly understood. He lidded his eyes halfway.

"You bribed him, didn't you?" He asked, non-plussed.

"Bingo!" Squilliam said, grinning. "Money talks." Then Squidward suddenly started as another realisation hit.

"Wait! You BOUGHT me?" He cried, horrified and furious. "You think I'm just for sale?!"

Squilliam suddenly stood up, right in front of him and in very close proximity. Squidward cringed slightly, daunted.

"Rented, actually. I have to return you on Monday, after all." The younger one corrected. "And, yes. Obviously, you are." Squidward groaned.

"Do I even want to know how much..?" He asked.

"Oh, your price tag wasn't very high, don't worry. Barely loose change!" Squilliam was grinning way too much and Squidward grit his teeth.

"What?" Squilliam was laughing as Squidward began sputtering in an attempt to protest being so cheap.

"Oh, Squiddy! You are a funny one!" The unibrowed octopus laughed, putting his hand on the other's shoulder. "Do you want to know the exact price on your head?" Squidward sighed miserably, but gave a tiny nod. "Double your wage for the day."

"Oh.. Well, I.." He didn't know what to say. He felt pretty miserable with the whole thing, so decided to change the subject, instead. "So, what, uh, do you plan to do with me now that you've got me?" The look on Squilliam's face made Squidward almost wish he hadn't asked.

"Oh, you're going to _cater obediently_ to my _every wish_." Squilliam told him. Squidward was certain that he didn't like the way the unibrowed octopus had said that.

"Uh, and what..?" He began.

"Silence, Slave!" Squilliam suddenly bellowed, startling Squidward. Then the wealthy octopus turned and picked up the phone again. "Squilliam Fancyson, here... - Yes.. - I want you to put the name 'Squidward Tentacles' on your list, in place of me, if you would be so kind.. - Yes, _instead_ of me.. - No, I WILL be there, just not for that... - Yes, of course you can still mention me in your promotions, I WILL be there, afterall.. - Good. Ta-ta!" he hung up and turned to Squidward. "Now, we have a lot of work to do!" With that, he grabbed Squidward's hand and drug him from the room.

Down the hall, they rode the elevator to a higher floor, then went down another hall and up to a door. Squilliam turned to Squidward and grinned. "This is where your work begins!" He grinned and Squidward felt almost horrified. "I bid you welcome.." Squilliam began as he opened the door and walked in. "...To my private studio!" He announced, holding his hands out dramatically. Squidward walked in and looked around in surprise. Squilliam watched him silently for a while, letting the older octopus take it all in. Then he continued. "This is where I make all of my _musical magic_."

"Wow.." Squidward said, in awe at what was quite literally the perfect place to be creative. "It's very.." He couldn't find the right word to express how wondrous the place was.

"Oh, I _know_." Squilliam replied smugly, and closed the door. "You see, Squiddy, I have it all."

".. I mean, it's ALMOST as good as mine!" He quickly finished, irritated over the other's boasting. Squilliam laughed, undaunted.

"Oh, I'm sure yours is _much_ better, Squiddy!" He began. "I'm sure YOUR jewel-encrusted refreshment dispensor is even bigger than mine!" He said lavishly as he walked over and filled a couple glasses, brought them back over and held one out to Squidward. "And _yours_ is probably filled with an even higher quality of freshly squeezed pink lemonade than mine! ...But, alas; I'm afraid you'll just have to make do with mine for now." He finished. Squidward took a drink, not exactly sure what to say. Squilliam beat him to it. "Anyway, breaktime's over! You've got to get to work now so you'll be done in time!"

"Uh, wait.. Just what _am_ I going to be doing?" Squilliam guided him over to a podium upon which lay blank sheet music with a quill pen and ink well. He placed him there, then went and took his clarinet out of its case. He began adjusting it, getting it ready to play.

"You, Squidward Tentacles, are going to compose your best clarinet solo ever - and you only have until 6 am to finish it." Squilliam finally answered, looking up pointedly at Squidward.

"I-I am?" That wasn't quite what he'd expected to hear, but by this point, Squidward would've been unwilling to have even tried to guess what Squilliam might've had in mind.

"And I'll remain at your service to play it back as you need." The unibrowed octopus added, holding up his clarinet for a moment.

"Y-you are?"

"Of course! I've already heard YOUR playing.. And, besides, you don't have your instrument with you, do you?"

"No.. I don't.."

"Exactly. Now, get to work, Mr. Tentacles!" Squilliam sharply commanded. And with that, Squidward got to work. As he began with the first few notes, Squilliam warmed up his clarinet, generally making sure it was properly assembled and everything in place.

When finished, he walked over to Squidward and peered over his shoulder. The older octopus started slightly. Then Squilliam exploded, causing the other to jump a good foot into the air.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled as he tore the sheet from the page and ripped it up, throwing the shreds in the air furiously.

"Uh... I was, er.." Squidward faltered, shaken.

"Have you _ever_ composed anything before?" Squilliam demanded angrily.

"..Y-y...YES I have!" Squidward snapped back, decidedly hurt. Squilliam took the quill from him, put it down in its spot, then placed his hands on Squidward's shoulders.

"Shut up and pay close attention!" He said, then leaned in and spoke softly into his ear. "Close your eyes, Squiddy, and listen for the music to come to you." Squidward was tense, displeased by the proximity. He tried to pay attention, though as Squilliam continued. "There is a song that only you can hear - find it... feel it, taste it, experience it with every fibre of your being. Take your time... Then, once you're sure you've got it, create it for all to hear." Squilliam instructed. Then promptly released Squidward and went over to the two seat couch he had and sat down with his clarinet leaving the other wondering what just happened. "Now, do it right this time!" Squidward just stared at him. "And remember what I said." Then Squidward finally nodded; though felt uncomfortable with the other there. Squilliam looked up, and apparently realised what the older octopus was thinking. "As I said, take your time. Forget I'm here, for I'll be busying myself with other matters." He said, standing up. He went over and refilled his own glass, then headed over and opened a drawer, pulling a tablet and pencil out of it. He returned to his place and opened the tablet, then began writing in it, showing the other that though he was there, he would not be paying attention or interrupting further. Squidward relaxed, finally, and went to work feeling content that Squilliam was, indeed, not paying attention to him anymore.

Squidward took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. Afterall, he already knew this, this was how one created... he just never expected Squilliam to ever say something like that to him; not to mention, trying to relax around Squilliam, who proved to be rather unpredictable, wasn't exactly easy.

But, he closed his eyes, he cleared his mind and tried to focus on finding the music. He first realised that it was quiet, the only sounds were the soft scratch of Squilliam's pencil as he wrote in the tablet.. And Squidward's own breath and heartbeat. No SpongeBob and Patrick, to break in with their insanity... no annoying laughter, nothing... just sweet, sweet silence..

He relaxed, and sought out the music...

He found it. He could hear it, he could feel it. Inspired, he reached out for the pen and began translating it into notes.. and promptly fell into the metaphorical 'hole in the paper' where an artist loses himself while creating, becoming nothing more than simply a channel to put onto the paper what the muses were communicating.

He wrote long - scratching out notes again, correcting and rewriting them.. he was in his element, only wishing he had his clarinet to try it out, to test.

Finally, he withdrew and looked over his work - it wasn't done yet, but now he needed help.. He turned and looked to Squilliam, the other octopus was still writing. He wrung his hands, not sure how to ask... not even sure he wanted to. But, he needed the help, now. He feigned a cough, and the other continued writing. He was about to feign another, when Squilliam suddenly looked up.

"Uh..." He murmered, wringing his hands a bit, and Squilliam put his notebook aside, stood up and approached him silently. He stood before Squidward for a moment, then turned at looked at the sheet. Squidward quickly turned back a couple pages, to the beginning.

"I... hope you can read it... I..." He floundered, realising that he was trying to explain himself without any clue how. Squilliam looked intently at it, obviously reading, scrutinising, and then turned the page. Then he turned another, and then another all while Squidward waited silently. Without giving any clue as to what he thought, Squilliam put his clarinet to his mouth and began to play.

Squidward remained silent. But not at all at ease. He listened to the music Squilliam played, trying to see if the notes sounded the way he'd heard them.. One or two were off, here and there.

When Squilliam finally lowered his clarinet, Squidward looked at him expectantly, bracing himself..

"Well..." Squilliam began thoughtfully. Squidward was wringing his hands again - in fact, it was starting to hurt. "That's not bad..." Squilliam said, and Squidward felt like crashing - that was the last thing he'd expected to hear... 'That's not bad...'? Oh, come on! And then Squilliam continued, "Not bad at all." The younger octopus put his arm around Squidward's shoulders and squeezed, a huge grin upon his face. "In fact, my dear Squiddy; I think you're finally getting it!" Squidward blinked.

"I-I am?" He fumbled as Squilliam squeezed his shoulder again.

"Well, _aren't_ you?" He asked.

"I... I..." Squidward wasn't sure how to respond.

"So, now finish it!" He said, then went back to his couch. Squidward was left wondering over it. He was sure that his song was good - sounded good when Squilliam had played it - but, he went back and looked it over anyway. He quickly fixed those wrong notes and changed a couple others. Then turned back to a blank page and again fell into the hole, creating.

He worked long, revising, proofing, etc... Composing! Making sure that everything was right. Time slipped away from him and he worked until his vision was blurry and he'd begun to yawn. And yawn again and again.

He was about to collapse when Squilliam finally approached him, breaking him out of us creative transe.

"So, Squiddy, it's 6am!" Squidward gaped, he didn't have the energy to respond or do anything more. "It's high time you got to bed." Squilliam said, and Squidward blinked wearily, not sure he understoood.

"Uh... w-what? ...Bed?"

"Yes. You need to be ready for the presentation tomorrow." Squilliam replied.

"...Tomorrow?" Squidward repeated weakly.

"Well, actually, today. At 11 am sharp. We have to be on time." The younger one replied.

"...But I thought... I had to have it done by 6..." Squidward began.

"You did." Squilliam said without missing a beat. Squidward just gave him a helpless questioning look. Squilliam grinned at him. "Yes, Squiddy-dear.." He began. "Well, how else would I have made sure that you'd actually finish on time if I hadn't given you a theoretical deadline?" Squidward just shrugged, he was too beat to play games with Squilliam now.

Squilliam took his hand and lead him from the room. Squidward didn't even try to pay any attention to how they'd gotten there, just realised that they were standing before yet another door in Squilliam's mansion. Squilliam opened it and lead him inside. There was a bed. Squidward looked at it with longing, but also unease. Was this Squilliam's bedroom? It certainly looked like it could be - everything so fancy and lush. Squilliam shoved him inside.

"So, here you go. You can sleep here." He said. "I'll wake you when it's time to get up. - Sweet dreams, Maestro." And with that, the younger octopus turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

Squidward let out a long breath, faced the bed, then collapsed upon it. At some point, he managed to pull the covers around himself and gratefully drifted off to sleep.

When he was awakened, it felt way too early, and he opened his eyes to see, indeed, Squilliam personally patting him awake.

*Come on, Squiddy! Up and at 'em!" Squidward groaned. Squiilliam wouldn't let him alone. He drug himself up, wearly and yawned. Squilliam pulled him right out of bed. "You've got to clean up and get dressed! We're going to be late!" To which Squidward groaned aloud, that was just too much enthusiasm in the morning - even if it was late in the morning. He stumbled his way to the bathroom and did his thing. Cold water on the face.. the typical stuff, then he came back out and found Squilliam still there. "Change your clothing! - Your suit is laying on the bed." Squilliam commanded and left the room.

Groggily, Squidward did exactly that. It was a beautiful suit, and seemed to be a perfect fit. It was royal blue, and seemingly of the finest material. Squidward both admired himself, and hated it. Why didn't he have such a thing of his own? But he'd never tell Squilliam that.

He left the room, after looking himself over in the mirror once more; he found Squilliam also dressed up and waiting.

"Oh, so you DO clean up!" Squilliam exclaimed, and before Squidward could figure out what to say, Squilliam was dragging him out the door. "Well, come! We've got to hurry!" And Squidward found himself lead back to the studio, fetching the music he'd written, and then stuffed into the limo next to Squilliam, who took what was apparently his seat, and driving off.

He said nothing, it was all too early to say anything yet. Squilliam offered him a coffee, which he gratefully accepted as he tried to get his brain going and caught up.

Soon, they were getting out, and Squilliam signed them in for the event. He was then lead into the back by Squilliam and he looked around for a second, then met Squilliam's eyes questioningly. They had arrived at the big music fair in Bikini Bottom, which he'd hoped to be able to attend, but had given up on because he *was* supposed to be working that day, theoretically, and hadn't managed to get the day off. It figured that Squilliam would be there, he thought, feeling rather sour. As they entered, he looked around, taking it all in. It was an outside event, and there were a lot of booths set up. Food, souvineers, or this or that.. And then he stopped in his tracks and smacked himself in the face. A hugely smiling SpongeBob was sitting behind one of the booths which was bearing a hand-painted shield saying 'Krusty Krab' and with Mr. Krabs grinning just as widely as the sponge as he stood before the cash register. So, that's what he barely got out of, apparently. As much as he hated it, he did truly feel grateful to Squilliam for getting him out of it. Knowing his luck, he'd have been stuck in a costume of some kind. And, either way, he'd definitely not have been able to enjoy the event. With a proud, and even smug, smile, he walked on by with Squilliam, not even casting a look in their direction.

He wasn't to be so lucky, for he heard that voice call out to him.

"Hey, Squidward!" And he would have been perfectly happy to just ignore and continue on his merry way, but Squilliam stopped. To his displeasure, Squilliam lead Squidward over to the booth.

"Hi, SpongeBob.." Squidward said in a monotone as the two octopi stood before the booth. "How's it going?"

"Oh, it's just great! How are you and your friend?" The sponge asked enthusiastically, obviously delighted to see the two. Squidward hated his life yet again.

"Oh, we're just great!" Squilliam exclaimed, answering for them.

"We're FINE." Squidward broke in firmly.

"Oh, good - how about a krusty burger for you two?" The sponge asked. Squidward cast a look at Squilliam, and the other octopus met his eyes, then Squidward answered.

"No, we do NOT want one, thank you." He insisted in the same firm voice as before.

"But if you have some lemonade.." Squilliam was saying, to Squidward's annoyance. The fry cook jumped, and from out of nowhere, produced some fresh lemons and began squeezing them - Squidward would never understand how SpongeBob did stuff like that...

"One glass of fresh lemonade, coming right up!" The sponge exclaimed. "Is that one or two?" The only thing Squidward could think of was: Since when did the Krusty Krab even have lemonade?

"Two, please." Squilliam said. The sponge then, quickly held out two cups, and Squilliam took them, tossing a few coins on the table. Then Mr. Krabs broke in.

"That'll be, uh..." He began pushing buttons on the register.

"That will obviously be quite enough." Squilliam interrupted, throwing a bill on the table and obviously finished with the whole thing. "Do keep the change. And now, I'm very sorry, but we've got to get going." And the wealthy octopus lead an only too happy Squidward away as his boss scooped up the bill and change Squilliam had left.

"Do come again!" The crustacean called after them.

Squilliam took a drink of the lemonade, and so did Squidward. "Not bad..." The wealthy octopus commented, then, as they walked by a trash can, Squilliam tossed the rest of his drink into it. Squidward stopped him, fully irritated.

"Okay, if it's 'not bad', then why'd you throw it away?" He confronted the other. He was secretly wondering why the spoiled octopus would even bother ordering anything at the Krusty Krab in the first place, if he wasn't going to bother with it. He hadn't forgotten the incident with the water.

"It may not be 'bad', Squiddy, but it's not exactly _good_ either." The unibrowed octopus answered with a shrug. Squidward couldn't help it, as much as he disliked the sponge, he had to admit that the lemonade was not only good, it was even great! And there was also the fact that the sponge had done his best to cater to Squilliam's wishes, and that was worth a little recognisation.

"You are really one stuck up jerk, aren't you?" He said. The other just smiled and slipped his arm around him.

"Of _course_, if you want to call it that, my Dear. But, we really DO have to get going. We'll be on shortly." And, it worked... because it reminded Squidward that they were there for a reason.

"What...?" He began. Squilliam was, as always, smiling his spoiled brat and smug smile.

"Oh, my dear Squiddy; did I not tell you what's going on?" He asked patronisingly, placing a hand over his chest in feigned shock; Squidward simply shook his head. "Well, we're going to present YOUR _magnum opus_ - _I_ will, of _course_, be playing it." To which, squidward had no clue what to say, his mouth fell open in shock.

After the event, when all was said and done... Squilliam had played Squidward's song beautifully, and the two were called upon the stage, with Squilliam having to lead an astouned Squidward out. They bowed. Then were approached by the hostess, who asked them first for the name of the song. Squidward then looked to his rival, for he did not have one. They met eyes, and then in that moment, it suddenly became clear to Squidward. There was only one name for the song, after this whole ordeal. He leaned forward and announced it. "Lemonade."

The hostess turned to the cameras, "And there you have it - the winner is Squidward Tentacles with his composition 'Lemonade', with none other than Squilliam Fancyson, himself, on the clarinet!"

Squidward couldn't help but smile as he and Squilliam bowed again and again for the audience. They retreated from the stage and Squidward had stars in his eyes. Finally he seemed to get the recognition he deserved!

He then found himself standing in front of Squilliam. The younger octopus was smiling his usual smile.

"Uh... I... Er.." Squidward stumbled, nervously... He had to technically thank Squilliam, though he'd much rather not. He also couldn't read Squilliam's smile, it was the same he usually wore.

"Well, _Maestro Tentacles_," Squilliam began. "There you go." Squidward was thrilled, excited, bouncing. "Now, don't screw it up." Squilliam deadpanned and Squidward stopped and looked at him questioningly. Squilliam put his arm around Squidward. "I've now given you a name. I expect you to do something with it." Squidward blinked. He was at a lost for words, this had all been way too much, and what was he to say to that? He didn't want to thank Squilliam, but knew he did kind of owe it to him... at least a little bit.

"Yeah, well... eh.." He began, trying not to be annoyed by the smug grin the other one was wearing. "..Thank you.." He managed to say.

-END-


End file.
